Ali Kira's Musings...

thoughts on a very busy life

On my love/hate relationship with Canada Post
Serious
ali_kira
A lot of people have negative things to say about Canada Post. Generally, I don't. In fact, I think Canada Post is the most reliable, inexpensive way of shipping letter mail and parcels across Canada and from Canada around the world. I much prefer it as a shipping option for packages to UPS, FedEx etc. My old mail carrier (who retired) was awesome, I've made good friends with the staff at postal outlets and I have at least one friend currently who delivers mail currently. Even when I get completely different postal delivery folks, the Canada Post ones are often the most friendly and definitely the most honest/realistic when it comes to damaged packages etc.

And I get a lot of mail: packages, correspondence, gifts, things I may have purchased online, unexpected contest wins, and the like. I find days when I don't get any mail at all unusual, and I live in a "No Junk Mail" building. So I should know my preferences when it comes to the mail. I have had issues where my mail has been damaged (for example when the mailbox I used was egged, or an envelope got caught in a sorting machine, or a package got roughly handled etc.) and I know that things do go missing in the mail (mail theft happens) but Canada Post has always handled this well enough for my happiness. For example when I dealt with a rude Canada Post employee (this has happened ONCE ever!), Canada Post bent over backward to resolve my complaint and the employee definitely apologized. I didn't expect that much of a response to my Tweet in frustration at the time, but I know that Canada Post has staff that try to help resolve issues.

When I first moved to my home 13+ years ago now, my postal outlet was a mere block from my house. It provide full service postal services which was great and when I needed to pick up a package I didn't have far to travel. Later it (and the business it was housed in) moved down the street where it was about 5 blocks away, which was still reasonable. Sure there's occasionally long lines for package pickup or for purchasing postal services, but this is on a good bus route, it's easy to get to and is near my work. The sidewalks to walk there are always taken care of and the business has reasonably long hours. I mailed a letter there this morning, in fact. It's a great postal outlet, and I loved picking up my packages there. Note the past tense. My packages are no longer delivered to this wonderful full-service postal outlet. And this kind of irks me a bit.

But I wouldn't be so frustrated if a) the new package pick up location also provided full-service postal services b) if it were the same distance from my house or even closer c) if it didn't take forever for their staff to find packages that were indeed delivered there d) if the packages were actually where the delivery card said that they were supposed to be. I cannot say that any of this is true. I've had 4 packages now delivered to this new package pickup location, and the first few visits were frustrating: I had to wait a long time to get my packages, I couldn't multitask and buy postage for other parcels or lettermail or other mailing tools etc. and the walk was very much out of my way in an area where there is no good bus routes taking me close by. This change happened in December where it's icy and cold (today in particular it is super cold, I got home nearly 20 minutes ago from my failed attempt to pick up my package and I'm still really cold), and December is also one of the most busy package delivery times of the year. But still on these first few visits I got my packages, so all was reasonably well: sure I was frustrated, but I could rationalize the fact that I had to walk further (this package pickup location which has no postal services otherwise is further from my house than my normal postal outlet that actually offers good service) by the fact that even if I have to walk farther, others are probably finding it more convenient, and certainly, I was getting exercise. The exercise argument no longer holds any weight if it's THIS cold or if I were to slip on the ice and injure myself (I caught myself in time so I didn't fall on this most recent walk). And it certainly doesn't work if I don't actually get my package.

Because although my package delivery card clearly said that my package would be at this package pickup point today after 1pm, packages are apparently not delivered to this location on Saturdays at all (so why provide me this inaccurate information? It would be easy enough to state on the card that the package wouldn't be there until Monday, so I wouldn't walk to the package pickup point for no reason at 7pm only to learn that my package didn't make it there). Not only do I leave the location empty handed (and I was really looking forward to this package, whatever it was [it could be a number of things]) but I'm going to have to trek out that way again sometime in the coming week to find it. So yeah I'm frustrated. I want to know what the logic was behind Canada Post's choice of this location as a package pickup location and why it reallocated where my packages would have to be picked up when I'm not home to receive them in person. I want to know why the delivery person clearly (great penmanship actually! I was impressed this time) wrote that my package would be available after 1pm today when the truck wouldn't actually bring my package to this location until Monday perhaps. I mean I'm a pretty loyal customer of Canada Post and I do mail numerous packages, letters, etc. each month, and I want a clear answer. Maybe I'll be happier then. A best case scenario would be return to the old package pickup location that I use as a postal outlet anyway, or at least having cards that indicate when a package would ACTUALLY be available for pickup.

So yeah, while I attempt to unthaw from my 45 minutes of walking in this frigid weather (which wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the wind that managed to get through my scarf etc.), and long for whatever it was in my package, I remain frustrated by this change. Most people complain about the change in postal rates (which I don't see as completely unreasonable) or about the move to community mailboxes (which doesn't affect me as I'm an apartment dweller) but I really do care about my experiences with mail in my day to day life.
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My Christmas Wish List!
pensivepink
ali_kira
Ah, people have begun to ask for this, so here I go typing this up! And this year there are a few noteworthy wishes and desires along with the usual.

I maintain two wishlists online: one is on Amazon.ca and only consists of things I stumble upon on Amazon.ca so it's pretty limited but does include a selection of items that I do actually want. http://www.amazon.ca/registry/wishlist/KL451NLK7LUL There are a couple on here that I'll list again below as I really truly do want them a lot right now.

The other is on my Board Game Geek profile and basically lists a wishlist of sorts of board games (pretty much only board games): http://boardgamegeek.com/wishlist/AliKira But, I have quite a number of board games at the moment that I have yet to play and a number of others on order and at least one more will likely arrive because of the Board Game Geek exchange... so I'd like to put less emphasis on games for the time being!

Things that I really do want lately (the top two are definitely the ones I want the most this year, hint, hint):
-This AMAZING Doctor Who giftset! Doctor Who Limited Edition Giftset I currently have none of this on Blu-ray and this would make me oh so happy plus it's the best possible deal for all this and comes with a sonic screwdriver universal remote and more!!
-A fabulous wake up light like this one! I've been having trouble getting out of bed in the mornings when it's still dark out and oh my goodness this would make me so much happier with the waking up process, I think!
-ideally someday I would own an eliptical machine, but I will admit that these are large and cumbersome and that I probably don't have adequate space for one, likewise I would love a set of heavier weights as when I DO decide to lift mine they're getting perhaps a bit easy to lift and a set like this one would be nice to have.
-a great board gaming table and chairs, probably from Geek Chic (someday I'm going to have to get me one of these. But oh gosh expensive: this may have to wait for someday when I have a house of my own!
-some awesome Poppy Barley made-to-measure boots! I will admit that I'm more likely to purchase this a few years down the road, but yes, I would love to own these!

- Music by: Paul and Storm, Charlie McDonnell, Alex Day, Hank Green, The Doubleclicks, Garfunkel & Oates -- I currently don't own anything by any of these artists but I feel that I would really enjoy it.

Other music (more specifically):
- Light Organ Records: Our First Christmas
- One Christmas at a Time by Jonathan Coulton
- The Same Old Songs, But Live by Molly Lewis
- Around the World in 80 Days by Jay Brannan

And as usual I still long for true love, more great experiences with friends, good food, pampering and much more besides... but the above is the shortlist of sorts. There are probably things I'm neglecting to list here... and there are probably things that I don't know that I want or need (or things that I do, but will have to go find for myself), but this is the annual posting of desires for Christmas as requested by a few groups of people.
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On thinking too much...
pensivepink
ali_kira
... which really seems to be something I've been doing far too much of lately. Coupled with the utter exhaustion that has been plaguing me on and off as of late (I'm not sure if it's related to the arm numbness thing or if it's a symptom of academic burnout or something else entirely or just a lack of sleep due to the joys of my life continuing to be busy (when isn't it?) and working shifts at the grocery store) and the fact that I've been working at the self-scan checkouts (which give me much time to just think about whatever) and I wonder if even the overthinking of things is making me exhausted.

And that in a nutshell is a bit of my (somewhat circular) thinking today. Then again, that's probably only the tip of the iceberg: my life on a whole goes reasonably well (as it does most of the time outside of the small complaints that I have, being a female living in the first world etc.). But I've been a ball of stress lately and need to do a better job of relaxing and just having a good time. Today should have been one of those days: I only had to work 4 hours and then do my grocery shopping, but I have had a headache since waking up (I may have ground my teeth very badly last night or it might be a tension headache or something) and I've gotten far too little sleep I think as well.

While Friday was an awesome day and I tried my best to make Saturday into one (on Saturday I went to CornFest, visited Roast, browsed idly at the various markets before prepping for the usual board game evening of fun), the lack of attendance at my board game event disappointed me worse than it ought to have: I mean, even one attendee was better than nothing, and we did play a bunch of games and had some good conversations, but I think I build myself up to become ready to host a group gathering like this and to see it not become a gathering of three or more persons is disappointing. I'm not angry or disappointed with any specific individuals, really: life gets busy and the regrets that people had along with their reasons were really worthwhile! I can't expect everyone else to be free and available when I am, just like I can't plan these events for the dates when everyone is available (when EVER is everyone available?).

And having an event with 20+ attendees isn't necessarily optimal either: For me it's never quite as simple as the introvert/extrovert equation: while I have a lot of acquaintances, a lot of social media friends, a lot of people I interact with on a daily basis in the public sphere, I don't tend to have that many close friends, and I really value the time I do get to spend with folks, be it in a one on one situation (which I generally enjoy) or in a small group gathering (that inevitably includes smaller conversations etc.). I'm pretty damn loyal to the friends I have when I do get close, and even separated by distance or time I think of these people often, but I've long ago learned that there's no way I'll ever be able to keep up with even those that really matter. Sure I send Christmas/holiday cards, sure I COULD write physical mail (not that anyone answers in this time and age) and I do read all the emails that come in and reply to these as appropriate but my continued phone shyness often prevents me from contacting or interrupting folks' lives more immediately with a message of what I was thinking or wanting to tell them. Texting is great but it, like email, can be asynchronous and well, I think sometimes I just crave that interpersonal interaction that comes with the immediacy of being together in the same physical space. But at the same time I often crave and/or need solitude to recharge my own batteries, and it's a damn fine line between being lonely and wanting a hug and an ear to listen, and losing myself in a book, watching media, playing a single player video game or otherwise doing something purely for ME, rather than because there's a looming deadline, or because I have an obligation to attend something.

If anyone knows me well they know I like rules and order, that I'm pretty damned good at following them, provided that they're useful or appropriate to the situation, to the time, to the age. Looking back at the past year or so I feel like I've been pulled a million directions by other people, and spent far too much of my own time hiding away from the world in productive and unproductive ways. Sure, some of the reason was political, and I will admit that I still feel a bit of pain from what some folks have done to me in the past year in the name of an organization or in the name of their own personal goals. Some of it is purely because I tend to be a pretty busy person, knowing that in staying busy I can help prevent myself from feeling as lonely, but it's not as if being in a crowd prevents loneliness, just as being alone doesn't necessarily mean I'm lonely -- I'm pretty often content to hermit myself with a book, some good food, media, writing, or (more often than not) the Internet. But, societal rules or expectations often stress me more than I expect them to, even though I'm so often good at following such expectations if they're known; I ought to be better at following my OWN expectations and taking my life into my own hands: which means of course less thesis procrastination, but also the understanding that if I'm this exhausted, I ought to just allow myself to sleep, and not let my brain get into the way.

I am not stupid enough to think that I don't still take criticisms and off the cuff remarks from others far too personally on occasion, or that I don't still base some of my self-worth on the opinions of others, but I like to think there are a few things I've been working on my whole adult life and where I'll improve as time goes on. I'm doing my best to not build up the metaphorical masks that I used to wear where others couldn't get at the real me, but also not be beholden to the related emotions that too easily well up. It's not so easy as turning off and on my emotional and my rational brains... though life would be a whole lot simpler if it was!

So I'm in some pretty odd headspace today. And when I think about it, it might be related to my not eating much for much of the day, eating one large-ish meal and not eating much since, or maybe to lack of sleep, or maybe stress, or maybe a myriad of other factors. But I do think that sometimes it helps to type, even if typing doesn't always result in comments or responses from the assumed audience of this blog or of my social media profiles, or really my friends or family.
Tags:

Comments on an instance of casual racism/religious discrimination
Serious
ali_kira
There are times when I don't choose to speak up. Sometimes that's because I know that the response will be 'it's just a joke, what's the harm' or something similar. When I'm considered too 'young', too female or too 'ethnic' to be listened to. When these people are several times my age and already far too stuck in their ways to see the true offensiveness of their behavior. And really sometimes I'm okay with not speaking up while at other times I feel much more conflicted and much more likely to speak up later when I can pull someone aside and explain why what they said rubbed me the wrong way. There are many many different responses that I might take in a moment like this one... and today I'm writing a blog post. Because the Avenue Q song is accurate; everyone is a little bit racist; it's not that I'm blaming these individuals solely for their behavior in this case: indeed it is likely their cultural milieu as well as the media and other aspects of their upbringing that has made it ok to joke about offering Muslim people tons of pork. But I noticed, and found it quite unacceptable. Would these same people find it okay to insult people for choosing to eat fish on a Friday? Or for going to church on a Sunday (or any other day of the week)? Would these same folks joke about other belief systems including their own? And would they be joking just this way if the Muslim folks were male, or weren't wearing a niqab rather than just a hijab or a headscarf or no head covering at all? I don't know the answers to these questions, not being all that close to these said folks. But I'm not sure that I want to hear the answers. And I'm not sure that I want to live in a world where so much casual racism, religious discrimination, etc. might happen even jokingly, as if nothing is wrong with insulting people for their differences. I want to make the world a better place. I like to hope that more people will think it wise to educate people on why such behaviors, even jokes, are not all that appropriate or even funny. Because I certainly didn't find them funny. I was more surprised that such a thing came out of an acquaintance's mouth. I hope that the next time (because there will be a next time) that someone's comment makes me feel so unhappy with their behaviour that I feel safe pointing it out, that I feel that my words will be listened to, that this person, whoever they are might actually listen and learn from my words and that they're not a waste of air. I really hope that this blog post isn't a waste of my words, of my typing.
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Life is, uh, complex
Serious
ali_kira
And that, my friends is probably the best way of summarizing my headspace for the moment. I'm not entirely sure why I've chosen to dwell as much as I have lately on interpersonal relations (both in a positive and in a negative way) but I'm guessing it has something to do with it being a distraction from my all too frequent arm numbness/strange sensation issues that have been plaguing me particularly badly the last few weeks. Yes I have a further medical appointment for December (yay for waiting) and yes I could go visit my regular doctor I suppose if my symptoms worsened much from where they're at, but really it's an annoyance I can generally deal with although it does interfere with much of which I've been wanting to do as of late, including playing at least one Wii game, typing for long periods of time, and sleeping on my left side (this fact has made things uncomfortable enough to interrupt my sleep occasionally lately and I've already been sleeping more strangely than I have in years). Generally folks are understanding and when things are acting up I try to compensate appropriately. Lately that's meant reading a lot of the Kickstarters and other books I've received recently. Which feels good. It's nice to be reading again even if only because other actions are considerably more painful than they ought to be.

But enough about complaining. My purpose in typing in my LJ for the first time in weeks is to put some of my garbled thoughts on the screen in a longer format than a tweet or a Facebook status posting. And really I've been putting a fair bit of thought as of late to my hopes and dreams and why some of these are stalled a bit, partially due to things less of my own control. I mean really my desires are the same as most people: find fulfilling interpersonal relationships (yes, like many folks I happen to want a longterm fulfilling romantic relationship, in a fictional universe this would be termed 'true love' but life doesn't quite work in the same way as storybooks... I really do want a family of my own someday and I wonder at whether the whole notion of a 'biological clock' is making me more worried about this than I would otherwise be? It's not like I'm in a huge rush though I do kind wish that someday this area of my life would blossom in reasonably healthy way), maintain said interpersonal relationships (and this includes friendships of course: I don't feel like I have enough hours in the day to devote to all the people I care about and want to see on a regular basis), find financial security (I really want to stop having to pay tuition soon. Of course this is linked to finishing these degrees and finding a reasonably fulfilling job that isn't at the grocery store!), travel, pursue my hobbies, eat yummy food, be healthy and exercise (see above health complaints for reasons as to why this isn't working as well as I would hope for it to), and so on. My dreams are similar to many people's and really I don't have it as badly off as I might sometimes feel like it is. But I get pretty wrapped up in my head sometimes.

Last night I hosted folks for some Evil Baby Orphanage and Things. It was good and the themed potluck went amazingly well. I'm pretty pleased with these facts and hope that the future includes more awesome board games as well as yummy food, friendship, and of course happy moments. I had best run off to work now, but I did feel like typing up a short posting in any case.

Haven't posted in a while, but I guess I'm a year older...
pensivepink
ali_kira
... and while I've spent a bunch of time during the past year not having enough energy (I really ought to be more energetic!), and not being quite as productive as I'd like to be (sure, I'm not superhuman, but this has been ridiculously different than what used to be my norm), I like to think I've come a long long way from my lowest points (mentally, emotionally, physically) this year. And I've got a much better idea of my health concerns (though still no real concrete answers about the arms going numb on occasion thing among other frustrating but oh well issues). I do like the health care I do have access to, and I think I'm finally getting caught up on aspects of my life that have gotten away from me a bit.

And yeah, life's been stressful, be it Kiwanis stress, money stress, stress because I'm female, stress because I'm still a student [and I used to think I would have graduated by now... at least I'm making progress now toward actually finishing these degrees, and fewer people are making me feel badly about it], interpersonal stress, work stress, and, and, and...!

But I had a rather good week surrounding my birthday. I got to work on my birthday but that was followed by a great birthday gathering of those who could attend and some delicious Japanese food (heck, Japanese food is my comfort food of choice and I doubt that that will change any time soon), along with some great conversations. I got some good cards, balloons, a book, and a great case for my Cards Against Humanity cards among other things but more importantly, I got to spend time with friends, many of whom I hadn't seen in far too long. And that counts to me more than most other things could. I also totally enjoyed my free Booster Juice, Marble Slab Ice Cream, Red Robin Burger, and The Melting Pot strawberries (I've only eaten one of the chocolate covered strawberries, but oh my goodness so delicious) that I got for being on the appropriate emailing lists (Boston Pizza's freebie is just a free dessert so I doubt I'll use it this year). I also got to go out with family at The Melting Pot in Edmonton last night and totally get spoiled with delicious food, much of which being reminiscent of my last trip to The Melting Pot in Indianapolis in like 2005 and oh so delicious! It was great to see everyone! My youngest nephew is growing so fast and I'm so pleased that everyone in my family gets along as well as they do! :)

I guess I'm realizing more and more as I get older both the advantages that I have and the disadvantages I deal with. And, my time on this planet is limited (as is everyone's!) and I want to do so much more! But you know what, I do love my life, when I think about it, and although there are a lot of things in life that are imperfect, it's nice to celebrate the fact that I've indeed made it through another year and have more adventures to look forward to!

On turning another year older, and the expected wish list posting...
pensivepink
ali_kira
Oh wow, how time flies. Later this month I turn another year older and I dunno, it's been a tough year on me mentally. It feels like there's so much my life is lacking at the moment, and in the last day or so it has gone through more upheaval (yay?)... we'll see where this takes me other than reminding me that sometimes I just need to read and write to stay 'ME' and stay happy with where I am in life. And while I could go and dwell on all the things I haven't yet accomplished by this upcoming birthday that I thought I would have done by now, I'm actually pretty happy with most of what I have accomplished, so we'll leave it at that for the time being.

And onto the birthday wishlist!

I maintain two wishlists online: one is on Amazon.ca and only consists of things I stumble upon on Amazon.ca so it's pretty limited but does include a selection of items that I do actually want. http://www.amazon.ca/registry/wishlist/KL451NLK7LUL
The other is on my Board Game Geek profile and basically lists a wishlist of sorts of board games (pretty much only board games): http://boardgamegeek.com/wishlist/AliKira

Much of which I desire does not fit squarely into the categories of Amazon.ca items or board games, however:
-Molly Lewis' new live album
-great times with awesome friends
-ideally someday I would own an eliptical machine, but I will admit that these are large and cumbersome and that I probably don't have adequate space for one, particularly as I've come up with better ideas as to how to use the extra room in my place.
-a great board gaming table and chairs, probably from Geek Chic
-True love! ;) (great companionship would be wonderful, really)
-less stress (this is a huge problem)
-more motivation to get my thesis work done (more motivation in general would be exquisite!)
-a real working time turner! This would allow me to get more things done! :)
-the money and time to have a true vacation once I graduate from these degrees.
-some awesome made-to-measure boots! http://poppybarley.com/ no, I can't really afford this right now, but my stylish boots are starting to really wear out so I'll need to replace them eventually... and this keeps coming to mind!
-in fact made to measure footwear in general is awfully appealing...
-I want to get some heavier dumbbells (probably an adjustable set (of two) that starts at 5 pounds and goes up from there to 25 or 30 pounds each (or more) in 5 pound increments would be ideal). I really don't need anything super heavy (I don't think I could handle it right now) but my light weights are on the verge of being too light again and I like lifting them!
-Awesome things, experiences, happenings etc. I mean I don't actually always know what I want/need.
-Great food... (if you know me at all you would know how much I love yummy food!)
-pampering (a la Spa or otherwise) as this would also probably help with the stress issue.
-balance in life!
-less misogyny in the world (good gosh that's been an issue these days!)
-the ability to get a good night's sleep regularly, waking up well-rested!
-answers to my nagging mild health concerns (I hope they stay mild, thanks, but my body doesn't always make sense lately)

Anyway those are my wishes at the moment... and no I certainly don't expect to receive the majority of them for my birthday, but one can hope, right?
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I am not an object, a plaything, a toy; I am not YOURS; I am not a belonging; I am rather annoyed.
Serious
ali_kira
I am a woman. I am an individual. I am a student, an employee, a friend, a family member, an acquaintance, a social media user and more...

I am a person. This was somewhat resolved way back in Canada's history with the "Persons" case where women were INDEED deemed to be persons. So why then should we put up with people treating us like anything less?

Today, I am particularly irate about people's behaviour toward me that makes me feel anything less than a person. No, I'm not going to go into excruciating detail about the particular incident that sparked this frustrated rant, but it's 2013, folks. I'm not going to let someone get away with treating me that way without talking to the appropriate folks to deal with said situation. And frankly I really wish that I could say that I was the only one affected by the particular behaviours that have set me on edge before and today made me feel utterly uncomfortable, and making me take action. That is not the case. I don't actually care if someone's brain is addled by former drug use, by intelligence issues, by a lack of a social filter, or by any other social awkwardness explanations that someone can come up with. This type of behaviour is NOT and SHOULD NOT be socially acceptable. Not in this day and age. Not in any day and age where women are actually persons.

But I also know that it's not just this individual who is at fault for letting this behaviour continue. No one else came forward before today, though I now know that it's not just me. We should be raising our children to know what isn't appropriate, encouraging our friends, families, peers, co-workers, and others, and generally making known what is unacceptable. We should be speaking out, but knowing the abuse that people can expect by doing said things I'm not entirely surprised that more women don't speak out. I'm not surprised that people don't notice things when they aren't on the receiving end of such behaviour. That doesn't make me any less unhappy but honestly, we as a society, we as individuals, we as a group of aware people, need to look out for each other. I don't want to feel like I'm making mountains out of molehills, but sometimes words hurt. Heck, sometimes words, even when they're meant to be complimentary cross a line. Sometimes words combined with posture, with glances, with behaviour in general can cause a reaction. I don't like feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. I don't like the way it feels to be on the wrong end of some words, glances, posture, behaviour. I want to feel safe and happy and proud to be a woman. I don't want to be limited by fears and frustrations and anger at the mere existence of people who make me feel uncomfortable. And I shouldn't have to feel this way in my own daily routine, in my city, in my time.

What can I say as advice/suggestions/etc. from the occasions where I've felt uncomfortable enough to need to vent? (and no this isn't limited to this particular incident, but rather a bunch of different observations)
-Be aware of how others might perceive your behaviour. What might be acceptable in one situation given a particular previously existing relationship with someone (whether friendship or otherwise) might not be acceptable at another time, or with another individual.
-Please do not make assumptions, particularly not assumptions that some woman would find your company attractive, or even that some woman would want to spend any more time with you than necessary unless there is at least SOME sort of corroboration for this assumption (yes I will admit that many aren't as aware of others' perceptions with regards to themselves, but then perhaps ASKING might be a better plan rather than assuming?)
-Do not assume that everyone wants to date first and being 'friends' is somehow a second-best-option of somehow last resort. I hate the term 'friend-zoning' because quite honestly I like having friends of ALL genders and all orientations provided that I don't feel super uncomfortable in your presence. And I'm going to feel super uncomfortable if you treat being friends as a) a way of getting into my pants later b) a runner-up prize or c) some sort of chore
-Do not assume that just because the 'customer is always right' that someone might want to hear some sob story of some legal nightmare or otherwise involving your wife, your ex-, your friend or otherwise. I highly doubt that most people want to hear how this person in your life killed, maimed, hurt, etc. unless there's honestly something that these people can do for you OR these people are your friends/family/etc. already and care for you... rather than simply being creeped out by you.
-Please, when someone says 'hi' they might be merely being polite. Greeting someone should not come with the expectation that some sort of desire or liking exists, but instead there is a social obligation and a desire for niceties that surrounds some behaviours. Of course, being nice and polite might be accompanied by desire and liking, but this is not always the case -- there are very few people who will not say 'hello' to respond to someone else's greeting.
-There is a certain point where excuses might actually be an indication that a certain thing may be less prioritized than other things in a person's life... that said an adamant 'NO' or 'I'm not interested' should be actually treated as exactly that: NO.... particularly when repeated.
-Prying into the personal life of someone whom you do not know very well is not often a good plan.
-Sure there's expectations of an employee, but that doesn't mean that what one does on the job is the same as what one does outside of the job.
-What your religion and cultural upbringing might be may not be the same for others.
-A name does not determine what a person is and what they do, believe or act upon.
-Employees (the most common example is teachers and professors etc.) actually do have lives outside of work.

I guess that's the extent of my ranting for the moment. I'm glad that the situation I dealt with today has been dealt with as best as possible for the moment. I hope that actions taken will result in a less likelihood of recurrences, but I guess I'll just have to see what happens. Sometimes policy and procedures have a place. Sometimes one can rely on common decency. Sometimes social mores work to one's advantage... but sometimes none of these things are true. Life is complicated indeed, and I can't help but be saddened that anyone can feel that treating a women like less than a person is okay.

Okay my day was out to get my ire today, yegads!
Serious
ali_kira
So this evening, after I dealt with a much needed phonecall, I got ready to type up a blog post, and then got sidetracked by a glance at my LJ friends page only to notice that someone is impersonating me (or rather they stole my profile picture and attached it to some spam posts (not even in English either or even the roman alphabet exactly) in a community I'm a member of, which is entirely too irksome). Sure, it's not a terribly active LJ community or anything, but I can't figure out a way of reporting it properly to any authority other than to message the purported owner of the community in the hopes that something can be done. I hope so anyhow.

I'm going to go type up my separate planned posting next. Hopefully it'll be of more interest to those of you who actually read my blog posts.
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Recent happy moments...
smiling
ali_kira
Because the world is filled with all too much negativity, I figured now was a good time to post about good things. And I would like to hope that I will do this every so often online, because gosh people sometimes need a ray of sunshine to brighten their days, online or otherwise!

-Holding my little nephew. He's so cute, so small and warm. Sure, he cries and poops and is a baby like many others, but he's the only baby nephew I have and I really do find holding him quite peaceful.

-Taking a walk in the sunshine (however brief this sunshine might be).

-Playing Cards Against Humanity with folks (even if the game is short, it's fun to get SOME gaming in!).

-Waking up somewhat refreshed from a good dream!

-Giving my brother his (belated) birthday present and watching him enjoy it!

-Seeing my nephew (the oldest one) acting like a good big brother to his little baby brother.

-Eating delicious food that I've made myself (recent kitchen adventures include some cracker/cheese/pepper jelly combos, a butter chicken stew, and some other simple delights).

-Seeing and catching up with folks I hadn't seen in far too long.

-Running into friends unexpectedly for a chat.

-Smiling at a little bit of joy or positivity on the internet!

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